The
Watchman Calls
(March
1, 2001)
Robert Clayton was put to
death today amid a flurry of last minute appeals for clemency and despite an
avalanche of calls and letters expressing concern about the legal standing
of his conviction and the dubious origin of evidence used to convict him.
As he lay on the
cross-shaped instrument of death, with arms spread wide to receive the
lethal toxins, he seemed to be engaged in conversation, and though his words
were unintelligible to the onlookers present, experts have since discerned
the following dialogue from recordings made at the time:
Voice: "I am the
resurrection and the life. He who believes in me shall never die."
Clayton: "Remember me in
Heaven."
Voice: "I tell you the
truth; this very day you shall see me in Paradise."
Some onlookers observed that
the dying man appeared to smile.
Other parties, however, are
strongly disputing this version of events, among them the highly prominent
organization, 'Order of Cain'. "We applaud the State of Oklahoma for its
courageous act," said a spokesman, who took a few minutes out from raucous
celebrations at the group's headquarters last night to answer questions.
The closely related
religious group, 'Fiends of Tartarus', though less inclined to dispute the
reported death-bed conversation of Clayton, are quick to praise those who
were instrumental in bringing the execution about: "We're very proud of
these guys," said Moloch, one of the leading lights of this movement, "we're
pretty keen to get them here as quickly as possible so we can thank them
personally."
Another source, who spoke on
condition of anonymity, said that in the meantime, certain of the Tartarus
contingent had already been dispatched to each person involved in the
execution, to accompany them in their travels, to whisper advice throughout
the day, and to fill their dreams at night.
Among the several arguments
proffered by 'Fiends…' is that Clayton was a man of dim wit and inarticulate
speech, and therefore of little use to men.
But these claims are met
with strong rebuke by the up-wing 'Assembly of the Righteous': "God chose
the foolish things of this world to shame the wise,"
said spokesman Raphael, adding that the assembly has authenticated the
veracity of Clayton's dying conversation. "The blood of the innocent cries
out to Heaven. And I cannot bring myself to say of the people involved:
'Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.' They knew exactly
what they were doing!"
Today, Clayton was greeted
in Heaven amid the sound of trumpets in a great ceremony attended by saints
and angels. Though reporters were not privy to the celebrations, several
attendees reported that he was presented with the Martyr's Crown, one of the
highest honors ever bestowed.
"Robert's treasure is stored
in heaven," said Heaven's press agent Abdiel, "And the hand of man shall
never harm him again."
Doubtless the controversy
will continue unless, as Clayton himself petitioned (in what his close
friend, Mark William Olson, termed one of the accused's "enduring prayers"),
evidence is some day uncovered to prove his innocence.
Today, the Council of Heaven
issued a press release stating that "the day of the Lord's return" had been
brought forward in response to "our brother's treatment": "Robert wept for
blood he had not spilt and paid with his own blood. Let not mortals think
that Heaven will stand idly by and let men commit such atrocities with
impunity," it said.
March 2001
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