Softies
(on
Appeal Court hearing of Judge Jackson's
order to break up Microsoft)
"O Justice Jackson you naughty boy,
You scourge of Microsoft,
We the goodly Court of Appeals
In judgment sit aloft
To scorn you for your rulings
And mouthing off to the press,
To slap your anvil-wielding wrists
For causing Bill Gates distress.
The judicial canon must be fired
At mavericks such as you,
Such independent thinking
We hasten to eschew.
If MS exclude competitors
Or licenses withhold,
We of the Bar applaud the bar,
Then who are you to scold?!
If they place bounties on competitors' heads
And bungle (sic) applications,
We bundle to congratulate
These lawyers' close relations!
Your lengthy toil of arbitration
Quite fails to impress,
So we will do what we are best at
And that's to second-guess!
You gave poor Bill too little time
To tell you all the facts,
To weave in dull prolixity
His piling legal tracts.
Of antitrust and monopoly
Stop spouting man, be meek!
The bugs which you would fright us with
We seek!"
Judge Jackson scratches his head
And ponders his estate:
"What is this nonsense my colleagues speak,
So hasty to berate.
They seem hell-bent on appeasement,
The software giant to console,
But I see, though dimly through a glass,
The Windows of his soul!"
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