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(on
Bush's Budget presentation ‑ April 9, 2001)
In the White House of Toy Land with Big Ears one day
Was President Noddy at play,
When he said to Big Ears his sidekick chum
"Let's play at sums today."
Now Big Ears thought this a wonderful game
And with gusto the happy two
Assembled their crayons and coloring pens,
Their friendship to renew.
"But Noddy, the numbers don't add up,"
Said Big Ears after a while.
Noddy stopped for a minute and looked askance
With a wink and a little smile:
"That doesn't matter, dear Big Ears my pal
For we're in Toy Land, you see,
Where we go to bed at 10 o'clock
And two and two make three."
With admiration Big Ears replied,
Chuckling with gnomish glee:
"Let's take some away from Farmer Straw
So there's more for you and me."
Well, all day long the merry pair
Played Budget till Noddy said:
"If I stay here much longer Testie Bush will be pissed
So I'd better go off to bed."
The following day with enraptured applause,
Toy Town's Cabinet were heard to cry:
"O Noddy, Noddy, you little man
With your red and yellow tie.
We who are not worthy of scraps from your table
Bow down to your Budget brief.
You're such a clever and able fellow:
All hail to you Chief!"
Noddy rose to his feet to acknowledge their praise
And said in halting voice:
"A new vision of the future I see today:
The compassionate conservative choice."
His eyes briefly squinted as he pondered these words
And wondered what they meant,
But undaunted he pressed ahead with his speech
On how Toy Land's funds should be spent:
"I love the taxpayers and the little children
And the wealthy gnomes in our clan
But let's remove the environment,
It makes a mess of my plan.
We'll fight the West Nile Virus
And give that a budget boost
So we can squirt lots of poison
When mosquitoes come home to roost.
We don't need power from wind and sun,
More oil is my taste,
And let's not waste scarce energy
On cleaning up nuclear waste.
You see my friends and this is the truth,
Your Noddy needs to trim.
I have to cut out all this pork
And that's why I go to the gym.
Now some of the goblins I guess will complain
But I'm sick of hearing their moans,
'You Can't Always Get What You Want', I reply,
From my mentors the Rolling Stones."
April 2001
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