Extra Curricular (on a mother's lawsuit for emotional distress caused to her son because a classmate performed oral sex on him) A 15-year-old sat at back of his class As the teacher droned on and on When a perky classmate said to him: "Hey fella, let's get it on." Now the boy was too virtuous to indulge with her Although he was mighty turned on, But the girl insisted and got her way: With pleading she pressed him hard on. It seems his classmates enjoyed this event As eagerly they looked on But the poor lad lost his will it would seem, So cruelly put upon. His mother says her boy was abused In nonconsensual liaison. O what an amazon that girl must have been To stop him from doing his equation! "My boy is wholly innocent, He's always been a good son. He'd never do such a terrible thing, He's a living paragon!" So she will shortly tell the court In describing the sad situation. She'll bring a suit for emotional distress: If you believe that you're a moron! Now looking back on my own tender years And innocence since begone, I must regret my misspent youth That I never got such a lesson! March 2001