Born Again
I was wrong about George W. Bush. How could I have been so blind? There I was foolishly denouncing him as a liar, murderer, rapist, torturer, etc., and even voicing my seditious opinion that he was a traitor to his country and to its founding principles! Indeed, so stubborn and stiff-necked was I in my implacable opposition to his legitimacy, that I steadfastly refused to call him "President Bush," referring to him instead as "White House incumbent, George W. Bush."
But now I realize the error of my ways. Oh Heaven, forgive me! Have mercy on me, for like a sheep gone astray, I denied the true anointing of God's minister on earth.
Sweet repentance come to me now. Lord, bring me back into the fold of true believers, for I have witnessed a miracle of truly Biblical proportions. My trust in the power of the Holy Spirit is restored. My longing to see such wonders as the parting of the Red Sea, the Virgin Birth, or the Tongues of Pentecost, has been fulfilled, and it is to me a tree of life.
For Bush has emulated our Lord Jesus Christ. He has performed the electoral equivalent of walking on water, achieving an election result far beyond the grasp of mortal minds, one so at odds with exit polls that its chances of occurring were a mere one in 250 million! Allelujah! Praise the Lord! Bush has conjured with votes what Jesus could only do with loaves and fishes. He has raised the Republican Party from the dead! He has made the cripple walk!
Now, by the grace of God, I have seen the light, and I come to the altar of Democracy, here to pledge allegiance to my divinely appointed leader, here to kneel before my true idol, George W. Bush!
November 2004
